“… The grifter king of the Manosphere was all over the news again
So I took a big deep dark breath and asked the back of your head if you'd heard about him
After a very pregnant pause you turned round to face me with horror in your eyes and replied, "Aye, he's a prick"
I was so relieved by your answer I let the swearing slide
"He is indeed," I said, "but the jobs never done"“
Be A Man - Arab Strap
There are three excellent reasons for the above lyric being today's intro…
Aidan Moffat is a lyrical genius
I saw Arab Strap - for the very first time - last night
This Brewday was written up by a certain young lady who scared the crap out of me when she asked me “Have you got an ethics policy for your event?”, sending me into a panic spiral. Until i realised, it's really simple. And wrote this..
It's no stretch to say, this young lady is completely to blame for the very existence of this event.
If it wasn't for my purchase of the classic beer bible “Let Me Tell You About Beer”, I may never have learned to PROPERLY taste beer. To extract flavours and aromas.
Then write about them in my Beers Manchester blog (returning soon!)
And make the contacts in this wonderful industry too enable me to put 36 cask lines on a bar in a little Community Centre in Salford.
Years later, I popped in to Beer Nouveau brewery on Temperance Street to drop something with the lovely Steve Dunkley.
Then heard “Oi! Jim!!!”
I turned around, squinted, realised who shouted to me. And thought….
“How the **** does Melissa Cole know who i am???”
She's full of surprises is Melissa.
Like - completely out of the blue - offering to host a Beer & Cheese Tasting on the Saturday Lunch Session this year.
Like……. “I'm brewing a beer for ISBF with some friends at Monkey Brewhouse….”
I'm a little overwhelmed. And that's an understatement.
(Although, me being a cheeky git, i don't think she expected me to ask her for a write up! I was still shocked - but not surprised - when she agreed. That's who she is……)
Anyway. Enough waffle.
Over to you Melissa…..
Infinite Love
Have you ever heard of the Infinite Monkey Theorem? Just in case you haven’t, it posits if you give a monkey a keyboard, and an infinite amount of time, it will inevitably produce the full works of Shakespeare.
Ok, it’s been disproven by two Australian scientists but when I met Will from Monkey Brewhouse, I told him that Typewriter felt like a funny name for a beer, not knowing it would end up being an ISBF collab!
If you haven’t heard of Monkey Brewhouse before, it is the most charming brewpub (complete with three delightful B&B rooms) just on the edge of the New Forest outside Lymington, Hampshire, and it produces simply sensational beers on its bijoux brew kit, which can be observed from the pub garden.
And not only is the pub lovely, the people are too, because when I suggested doing a collab to support ISBF (without bothering to consult the gaffer), Will leapt at the chance… fortunately so did Jim, or I’d have had a bit of egg on my face…(AS IF! - Ed…. 😂)
Anyway, moving swiftly on to the brew day!
We twisted Jim’s arm away from sessionables to produce a Baltic Porter. During the planning stage, I was looking up some old notes on the world-class Żywiec porter from Poland, a spookily awesome brewery I had the privilege to visit a fair number of years ago, and as our emails crossed in the ether, Will and I were so close on the malt bill that we barely had to split the difference on what we used.
Sadly, due to time and travel, Jim couldn’t make it, so Will, Richard the head brewer, and I dutifully mucked in to get this beast of a Baltic in the mash tun (well, I say ‘we’ the set up of the brewery meant my dubious upper body strength was no match for the lifting work required on the small platform, but I still believe my mashing out and cleaning skills remain elite even with, as it transpired, several holes in my wellies!).
And it was one of the best smelling mashing outs I’ve done for a long time, the heady smell of pale ale, Munich, light crystal, Special B, chocolate and carafa, filled the brewery and it wasn’t long until the farmer arrived to collect it for some very lucky cows!
The marvellous Glenn at Hukins helped us out on the hop front, splitting a couple of bags so we could achieve our goal of one third Admiral and two thirds EKG in the whirlpool, with thanks to Daniel Gambino from Anspach & Hobday to putting me on to Admiral’s aroma qualities, it smelt absolutely incredible.
As I write, it’s already been tucked up near zero in tank for nearly two months already, and it will stay there until the last possible moment, when it will be handed over to the nicest man in beer, Andy Parker of Elusive, to consolidate with the rest of the fest’s beers to make the journey up to sunny Salford.
But I just want to take a final moment to thank the folks at Monkey Brewhouse, from the moment I first arrived your hospitality, kindness and instant embrace has been one of the nicest experiences I’ve had in beer in a while, you’ve got something really special down there and I hope you continue to be fabulous for a long while to come.
Soppy stuff aside, I will try and showcase it at my (sold out!) Saturday beer & cheese tasting, and if you want to meet Will and Richard they, and I, will be up on the Thursday evening too.
Thank you Melissa. So much. Humbled just about sums me up right now.
Want to join Melissa on the Thursday evening? Better be quick! Here’s the ticket link